A letter to my twins

Dear Alisha and Keshav,

I don't know how much I will be able to teach you throughout our life together.  I want to share with you everything that I have learned.  Everything I can.  You will grow up with your own experiences, make your own mistakes.  But in this letter, I want to give some simple (valuable?) advice from my experiences that I hope will make a difference.

-- time for me --

Time For Me

I want to paint, I want to craft,

I have so many blog posts in draft.

I want to go for yoga, I want to cook something fun,

I want to drink wine while reading a book under the sun.

I want to sit quiet and sip on my tea,

But I'm a mom of twins; where's the time for me?

10+ Toddler Meals | Lunch Dinner Meal Ideas | Feeding my 15 month old toddlers

These are some of the lunches and dinners that I have served Keshav and Alisha in the past 2 months.  No, they have not eaten everything off the plate.  On some days they reject pretty much everything offered to them.  That's why I keep various foods, vegetables, and fruits on hand - never know which food they may give the privilege to enter their mouth.  Fortunate are the moms whose kids love to eat food without being fussy and messy!

We are a family of vegetarians and I try to incorporate the 1 vegetable, 1 fruit, 1 dairy, and 1 protein intake for their meals (whenever I can).  Here are pictures of some of their lunch and dinner plates* ---

I don't want to be a mother today

I am a mom of twins.  And I am tired.

I want to drink wine. Bottle after bottle.  May be that will keep me sane.  It has been about 2 months of handling my 1-year old twins all on my own and I'm losing it.  My twins turned 15 months old last week.  I never knew motherhood was so demanding, exhausting, and challenging.  I never knew raising a child -- especially twins -- was so difficult.  I keep telling myself "that person with twins AND a toddler does it, the person I met at the park has triplets, that person I watched on video has quadruplets, imagine how much more difficult it might be for them...if they can do it, I can do it!"  But just telling myself that isn't working.  I don't understand if it keeps getting better or worse.  Each month, each week, each day is a new test of my patience, my tolerance, my mothering, and a test of my love.  And I feel like I fail every day.  I'm not trying to be a perfect mother.  There is no perfect mother.  But I feel like I was not even cutout to become a mother.  I am tired of being a mother.  I am really tired.